This above all, to thine own self be true.

racquelbrazer.tumblr.com/ 

now on to serious business.

college. do you think i'm good/decent enough to pursue photography as a major?

or should i stick with my original plan, psychology?
i want your honest opinion.

you can visit these photo pages of mine (here as well as here)

a yes or no will suffice.

i don't want a critique. i don't want a load of pointless questions such as the ones i'm receiving from the peanut gallery on myspace. i like simplicity sometimes.

That's what I was born as and it has been my ruling sign obviously and I do trust astrological characteristics of such. I like to read up on horoscopes and anything else that has to do with it. I've come across a lot of different summaries for what it is to be a Virgo, what kind of person you are because of it and these seem to ring all too true to me. If you know me well, which you probably don't, then this would probably make you go "AHA!" but you might notice things online about me as well that are explained away in these. I'll state the references at the bottom of each summary. In reading some of thse I noticed numerous spelling errors but I'm too lazy to fix them, I'm sure you'll get the point.


Hindi Name: Kanya
Symbol: The Virgin
Date of Birth: 24th August to 23rd September
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Quality: Mutable
Element: Earth
Basic Trait: I Analyze
Closest Metal: Quicksilver
Nakshatras: Uttra Phalguni, Hast
Lucky Numbers: 1, 4, 8
Lucky Days: Wednesday, Tuesday
Lucky Colors: Saffron Yellow and Azure Blue
Lucky Stones: Diamond, Emerald, Pearl
Lucky Flowers: Lilies



Virgo has the symbol of 'The Virgin', but the similarity ends there itself. People born under the zodiac sign of Virgo are very devoted to their families. They are not much talkative and mostly stand away from a crowd. However, they will be noticing even the smallest detail. The typical Virgo personality traits include perfectionism. Everything around him has to be just perfect. He is one of those who prefer carrying the exact amount of change for the bread, rather than asking the shopkeeper for a change. He is not much of a party bird, because he basically dislikes crowd. 

Virgos live in the real world. They neither daydream, nor wish on stars. One look at them and you will feel that they are overburdened with some worries. However, worrying symbolizes their characteristic profile. Infact, Virgo seems to be on the lookout for it. A Virgo is very conscious of his looks and he will spend hours in front of the mirror getting the crease on his trousers just right. Everything about him has to be perfect, right from the clothes to the perfume. Virgos have this peculiar habit of taking on more work that they can easily manage. 

Then, they strain themselves beyond limits, often leading to frayed nerves. They may look pretty cool on the outside, but inside, they will be extremely anxious. One thing you can be sure of while dealing with a Virgo, he is totally dependable and sincere. He may lie once in a while, especially when he doesn't want to go somewhere or do something. However, the lie will be totally harmless. A Virgo is highly critical of the people around him. Everything related to him, including his lover, has to go through his forever-analyzing eyes. 

He is finicky about cleanliness, cannot tolerate lazy behavior, hates procrastination and is never blind to flaws and faults, even of his loved ones. He is also quite particular about each and every detail. However, that does not mean Virgos do not have a humorous side. It's just that as they hate impropriety, they also cannot tolerate sloppiness. If such things do some across them, they become irritable and snappy. However, composure, patience, caring attitude and endurance define their true personality. 

He may criticize you for your faults, but if you are in trouble, he will be the first person to help you fix up everything. Don't mention a Virgo's overly critical attitude in front of him; he will be the first one to deny it. He also seems to be totally blind to his own faults. Virgos have this habit of not being able to sit at the same place for too long and turning restless easily. If you are in love with a Virgo, remember that Virgos express their love with subtleness. 

You wont see them shouting 'I Love You' from the rooftop. However, that doesn't mean they are less dedicated than any other sun signs. They are just not able to express themselves fully and lack demonstrativeness. As much as a Virgo likes to help others, he finds it very difficult to accept favors. He likes to be self-dependent and hates to take obligations. He won't spend too much money on himself, but will be extravagant in case of his loved ones or for those who are in need. 

In such a case, don't waste the money or he will be hurt. As far a Virgo's critical nature is concerned, remember that it's just his nature. He was just born to notice even the slightest of faults. Infact, A Virgo is the most critical about himself. At the same time, he is very punctual and will not take lateness too lightly. To him, time is of extreme importance. Virgos like small, helpless creatures as much as they like honesty, punctuality, savings, caution and vigilance. They are like the true individualists who have their own, secret way of making the heart memorize.


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So I started my day off kind of early when ivonne called me at around 11am. The usual tradition is that we go to Ihop and then the rest of the day is sort of up in the air. It started off when we worked together, the three of us (melissa, ivonne & i), and just kind of stuck around even after I left because we obviously stayed good friends. So today Melissa was working until 10pm and we weren't able to chill with her. Ended up meeting at the old job as Melissa tried to persuade us to stay and order chinese food with her for lunch. We had to decline of course, that's not exciting in our eyes to stick around the workplace during off-hours. I don't even work there any longer, even though I'm still on good terms with 90% of my ex co-workers we were in agreement as to leaving and doing our own thing. After we left and were headed to the bus we decided to go to the mall across the street and shop around a bit for around an hour. Ended up buying a few items of which i basically adore and then left for our original destination... *dun dun dun* the MALL. Now this journey was quite enjoyable since the conversation was constant as was the laughter. We tend to crack each other up epicly every time we meet. I'm much more content with my relationship with Ivonne in comparison with Melissa.. to say the least. About fourty-five minutes later we arrive at the mall and go forth into the downward spiral that is our shopping addiction, cigarettes and lighters in hand. Mind you we've already acquired a small shopping bag of goodies, which was already beginning to annoy me in combination with my huge shoulder bag which contained everything I could possibly need for any situation that may well come our way. This is probably my downfall, but mostly useful, in regards to being a Virgo. Fuck it, I'd rather be prepared for the worse thank you very much.

We first ventured into Forever 21 where most of our shopping occured. Mind you I wore my Juicy Couture shirt out for the first time in a bit without a bra and that turned out to have caught quite a few people's eyes.. more than I expected at least. The store was relatively packed and just about every person I walked by didn't have there heads at eye level... I mean I could have bloody well bought a bra and solved that quick-fast but it was slightly entertaining. Plus it's not as though I have major-boobage heavy metal style so they were just going to suffer. At least I'm not one of those touched kids who feels they owe it to the world to let their emotions out through a screen-printed shirt. I think vulgar language would have been more noticeable or at least offensive in my eyes but you would swear I had dynamite strapped to my chest. Ah well, there's only so much I can be bothered to care about. Anyway, when we finally gathered up enough items to satisfy our thirst we headed to the fitting room. Mind you I had a couple of items more than Ivonne but when I came out (leaving half my items behind. fail) she was nowhere to be found. More stares ensued but as I walked around aimlessly, no sign of Ivonne. I finally spot her coming out of the fitting room explaining to me how fucking ridiculously full of fail her dress was to put on. So that explained it. Ha. We browsed around some more to be certain there wasn't anything of dire need left behind and headed to the checkout. As I'm waiting in line I'm hoping to god that I don't get shit for not have a New York ID which was lost on one of our previous drunken nights a while back. I turned on the girly-charm at the register though and my school ID was accepted. I was thankful I didn't have to jet to an ATM to retrieve money because that would have just been a pain since I didn't know where one was located in this huge mall. I mean even though I've been there so many times, these things slip my mind and I blame the weed. Whatever. Worth it.

So after that we head to Urban Outfitters & end up spending more time in the book section than looking at the typical and unecessarily expensive clothing that occupies U.O. Found out I'm not a huge Star Wars fan in the process though. Yay for the little things. Even the silly books were over-price. I mean honestly, 25 bucks for a book on sex and STDS. Wow. NEXT! I think after that we decided on food which lead us to the food court. More stares. Ignored. We both proceeded to our favourite little Japanese place where I ordered Chicken Teriyaki w/ fried rice and a coke. Yum. Ivonne went with Taco Bell but I'm a creature of strict habit. Once again, blame the astrological sign I was born under, it rules me with whips and chains. I like it. After we finished eating I decided to go into Hot Topic to get some new gauges and retainers for my snake bites. Mother's pressing hard on the lack of a job issue so sooner than later I'll have to fix that hence the preparation. Sale on my gauges and with their buy 1 get 1 1/2 off I was more than a satisfied customer, I wanted to hug the sales person. Now I forgot to mention my back pain during this adventure which of course had to get progressively worse with every store we entered. But even with the plan to get to the pharmacy asap, that only happened 3 stores later.

Next it was to Charlotte Russe to look at shoes, which took around 2 hours last time we were there, but they had a better sale that time so Ivonne just got a cheap pair of neon-orange pumps and we were on our way again. THIS TIME TO THE DRUG STORE! Score. Too bad we had to take the elevator to the basement which we had never been to, turned out it resembled the start of a cheap horror film which worried us slightly but we're troopers. Cigarettes and lighters in hand we would defeat any opponent who dare challenge us. The blood of the one and only drunken master, Jackie Chan, courses through our veins. ANYWAY, we fought through fire and brimstone to get to the pharmacy where Ivonne bought candy of course and I got my fix. As we were leaving we got a phone call to Melissa to meet us at the bat cave (the workplace) at 10 since that's around the time she gets off. An hour later, we finally get there and she's fuming mad at the fact that we're 30 minutes late. Now each of us has had to wait numerous times for one another for various reasons but we knew Melissa would be on her period (which was kind of funny because she actually did get it today) about the whole delay so on the way there we decided to come up with a good lie to explain away the beatdown we would probably recieve. Ivonne failed with her idea of bums getting on the bus and causing a ruckus, involving police and our imaginary bus delay. Pass. But it brought the lols for the bus ride. My excuse was used instead which was that Ivonne pissed her pants since this has happened quite a lot recently due to unmentionable girly circumstances. Godzilla aka Melissa, accepted this excuse and didn't doubt it for a second. Racquel - 1 Ivonne - -4 (Do I really need to explain why..)

After Melissa huffed and puffed her ass in the back, away from us on the bus, we were finally talking again when we arrived back in the neighborhood. Went to Taco Bell where we proudly showed Melissa our purchases for the day and then left and decided to buy some alcohol and head to the beach. It was foggy as all fuck but we didn't mind. Scratch that, IVONNE AND I DIDN'T MIND. Melissa was tempted to back down in fear of rain when it was merely the fog being fucking fog. Surprise Surprise. We get the the boardwalk and it's like an orgy of couples scattered across it the further down we walk. Finally gave up and sat down on the wet benches, enjoyed our beer and took pictures. My day was good. I'll edit this with the photos in a bit as soon as I upload them. Not enough alcohol was consumed to pacify me to unconsciousness so lets do this before I lose my motivation!

Why do people who I have dirt on think it's smart to fuck with me?

I will ruin lives if that's what it takes.
Ends justifies the means, right?

I swear some of you have a death-wish.

I can assist.

kind of single.
quit my job on monday.
plans to visit possible hubby in florida..
ex-fiance shipped off to the army on tuesday.

like i said, life sucks.

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life's sucking pretty fucking bad right now. i won't elaborate.

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i just watched "Crows Zero" and now have a big crush on Oguri Shun..
Don't tell my fiance. :)

You can watch it here if you want to fall in love yourself; www.mysoju.com/crows-zero/

I also have the urge to fight really bad. >.<